Over-exertion and the culture of 'busy'.

There really is no such thing as a 9-5 job anymore and even those who have a technical '9-5' are still being pushed in pull in so many directions to find 'balance', to meet insane deadlines, do the work of 5 people, yet find time to be the perfect spouse, parent, lover, friend, all at the same time, while, in the 6 hours they have outside of work each day, try to find time for what truly makes them whole and fills their cup.

Let me pre-face this by saying, I am in no way not guilty of this, I probably am one of the most guilty. Completely blessed with the ability to do what I love, I do it HARD. Really hard. Sometimes really well. Yet, at the sacrifice of my own well-being, health, and relationships. Why? Because I'm a workaholic. Give me anything to do and I will strive to do it 200% for the approval of the person at hand. Does this sound like you? It's most likely the majority of us. It's not wrong. We thrive when we're doing our best. But how good is our best when we are running on 'e'?

In a culture where we're lucky if we're awarded with 2 weeks of paid time off and encouraged to take this time, yet, simultaneously, we're asked to limit our time away, and almost shamed when we ask for the time. Why is this? Is there truly no such thing as 'balance', has that word become so over-used, that's it's almost cliche and unrealistic?

Yet, I will be honest when I say that I do not miss the days of clocking in, showing up, sitting at my desk and leaving. I love having a bigger picture to work towards. Something that makes my heart sing, even if my heart is occasionally tired, I still show up with a smile. It's working towards something bigger, and at times, that can give me the extra fuel I need. To change, to be the change.

As a Yoga teacher and any sort of care giver, social worker, therapist, etc, how can we hold ourselves accountable to fill up the cups of others, if ours is completely empty and dry. And how, do we encourage others, friends, co-workers, peers, to fill their cup as well, while meeting the excessive standards of our society and the work place?

When it comes down to it, I am reminded of the fourth Yama "Brachmacharya". The Yamas, being our moral restraints, and in a sense our 'ethical rules', Bachmacharya reminds us that life is ruled by light and dark. By the softening and strengthening, but the 'balance' of our body, mind, and spirit. Yet when we exert too much of our energy at once, it takes longer for that internal energy to get build up. Look at is as your internal bank account. You wouldn't withdraw all $100 out of your bank account at once, unless you're a reckless 20 year old, no... you would withdraw $1, $20, $5, you'd build up to it, so that it could replenish, on it's own. Much like those Yogis who go 110% in their practice, doing every chaturanga, turning everything to an arm balance, who are panting like a dog 30 minutes into class, you must find an even in and an even out. We must be willing to strengthen, yet to soften. And not feel week when we soften, to feel empowered that it will make us that much stronger.

For me, this looks like Monday. Oh, Monday. So much to do, so little time, and I think it all must be done by the end of the day. But like most Mondays, there is always an interruption. Causing you to work quicker and faster than you ever have before. And what happens? You're in bed by 9pm, with your glasses still on, snoring away. You're exhausted. We're exhausted. Where do we cut this off? When do we give ourselves permission to just do our 'best', which changes from day to day. When will we give others the permission to do the same? Because that's where it truly starts. When we realize we are all doing the best that we can and it's completely human to say 'time-out'. When will we encourage others to do things, to take the time, to truly fill our cup, with that in which makes our heart soar, sing, and laugh...and sometimes cry.

I challenge you, I challenge myself. All the moms who have a hard time finding time for themselves, all you 30 somethings who grind day in and day out neglecting their passions, all the girls so focused on getting married they forget about their girl-friends, all the college students cramming at 2am they forget the joy that's around them, ALL of us. I challenge you to find your cup and fill it. It doesn't have to be full the first time. What can you do to fill it up, 1 oz at a time. What small shifts can you make to begin to appreciate this wonderful life we are given and the talents you have? To take a minute and start that passion project you've been putting off because you're tired, to enjoy a little bit of face to face time with that person you love, to sit a minute and read a non-work related book, to enjoy a homemade pastry without the guilt of what it will do to your body. All of these joys, what ever they are, all it to fill your heart to the point where you once again have enough to give.

This week, I commit to saying no. Mostly to myself. Wanting to cram in another Yoga class, another errand, more noise. I commit to starting small. To listening to my internal clock and when I just need to be me, and SLOW DOWN.

What about you? How big of a cup are you ready to fill?

Be still, Yogis.

Lara G