Asteya and our Ability to Reclaim our Light.

I've stolen plenty of things in my teens and early twenties; eyeliner from the drug store, cash, my sister's cute top, boys hearts, clothes from random stores, time. Not necessarily because I needed it, but because I wanted it, and felt as if I didn't have the means to sustain my wants.

The concept of 'Asteya' revolves around the idea of not taking what isn't yours, or what you are not entitled to covet. On the surface this looks specifically around not taking what is not ours. But when we look a little deeper, it's so much more. All of these things in which I stole were because I didn't feel like I had enough, or because I wasn't enough. Not enough money, not worthy of devotional love, not deserving of nice enough things...however you looked at it, I lived in scarcity. Coming from a single-mother household of four kids, you could argue that it was only natural, and the result of nature. Money was hard to come by, but we always did have enough. Or my mom was always really great at making us feel like we had enough.

It makes you think, does Asteya stop at the stealing of things and time, what about moments? What about thoughts? What about pure sanity? What happens when we are constantly stealing our inner fire, dampening our greatness?

Working through all my baggage and challenges, I've learned how to rid myself, mostly, of the thought that I will not have enough. Envisioning this abundance, or everything I would ever need, or have ever needed, was right inside of me. Not literal cash, but we can always find a way to make more, when needed. And when we begin to trust that divine path, ALL doors open. Yet one challenge, I think that a lot of us as Yogis, as real people struggle with, day to day, is the idea of
being 'good' enough. And this good enough isn't always about being good enough for other people, but mostly, thinking we're good enough.

I came across the photo up top on Instagram a few weeks back and nothing has resonated so clear with me. In an age sickened by social media and the instant gratification of photos, image is everything. And when you take thoughts of not being good enough and mix it with the aspirations of creating that same beauty you see online, the mental chatter, and theft of our own personal greatness intensifies. I see these intense, beautiful Asanas, and I covet them. I ask myself, 'why am I not good enough to do this', 'why will my body not make that shape'. Thoughts of 'sucking' at Yoga creep in, thoughts of being a sham of a teacher, because I avoid posting pictures of me mid-Asana, or cannot even nail some of the most challenging Yoga postures after 8 years of practice. I am fixated by jealousy and anger. Why not me? Why am I cursed with tight hamstrings, a curved clavicle, hips that don't lie (muahaha)? There have been times, where I ask myself, 'why do I even bother? I'll never be good at this.'

This, is the greatest theft one could ever be an accomplice to. Stealing our practice and our god given greatness, just by the 'small' act of comparing ourselves to others; the deprivation of your own greatness and authenticity. Notice this theft does not just stop at our own internal dialogue. But continues and breeds stronger life when we surround ourselves with those who aid in the appropriation of anyone else's light, by causing them to feel de-valued and less great; through abusive relationships, through following a doctrine that treats any human less than the other. It's all grand larceny and it's killing our spirit.

In the moments where I'm at my lowest, I must remind myself that Yoga is not merely the Asanas, I am not merely my body, we are not our bodies. Yoga is life. Yoga is the difference in all life forms. Yoga inspires all formats and mediums of expression. Yoga is whatever you will allow. But most importantly you are the only one who can allow this type of theft, you are the only one who takes the backseat, shuts their mouth, and allows the looting to begin. It's in these moments where we all could use a little more Yoga, to shut off the dialogue, to damper the theft before it even begins. When we get to our mat, we allow this ancient life force to travel through our body and move. It becomes less about what you see in the mirror, the pretzel your neighbor is in, and more about the moving of life, the ignition of your flame, seeing the real beauty you are.

This is where the practice of Yoga starts. Not with 1,000 Chaturangas, but with an ability to observe your reactions and preserve yourself (and humanity) through trust; that everything you've ever needed, is deep within you. See the abundance and it will exist. In it's own unique, personal, and beautiful way.

I say...sometimes, just be the round balloon and be ok with it, because, baby, you were born this way!

Good night, Yogis.

Lokah Samastah Sukhino Bhavantu