What did you do for yourself today that was JUST for you? The challenging art of receiving.

Take a minute and stop what you're doing, close your eyes, and find your breath. Ask yourself this question, 'what did I do for others today, that they couldn't have done themselves?'. (Guaranteed, if said helped a blind man across the street, or your old neighbor pick up her mail, this may not apply to you). Now, ask yourself 'what did I do for myself today, that was just for me?'. For most of us, our answers are heavily weighted towards what we did for others. At times, this can include selfless acts like helping our relatives up the stairs when they can't make it on their own, however, most of the time, it's us picking up the 'slack', or completing tasks that others around us are more than capable of doing on their own. This can extend with something as simple as completing a task that wasn't assigned to you, just to get it done, or enabling a family member with a money problem, only by giving them more money they can be careless with.

I know, it sounds selfish, but sometimes, there's a little bit of selfish needed to maintain our quality of life and joy in what we do.

From the earliest age, I remember myself taking care of everyone. From my sisters, to my mom, to our animals, to my friends, to the boys I found myself attracted to. Feeling as if I needed to fix everything and everyone around me, I would run out of steam by the time it was my turn to be taken care of. Have you ever felt this, this incessant need to feel like everyone needed your help, when in fact, the person who needed it the most, was you. And honestly, they probably were doing just fine without you?

I am not sure why we fall into this archetype in the first place, I just know, that until a few days ago, I didn't realize how serious it really was. All this giving, with rarely ever taking a step back to ask yourself what YOU truly need. Putting yourself last, over, and over again. It's in the way we converse with people, to how long we stay at work, to the way we even show up on our mat.

I was receiving energy work the other day, and of course, let's be real, it had been about two solid months since I'd seen her, as I was too busy to take an extra 60 minutes for me. When my Reiki therapist asked me how I was feeling energetically, I confessed that I was giving a lot, and moving a lot, and that I was 'afraid that I wasn't more tired'. Freudian slip? In my brain, I clearly meant to say 'concerned', yet when the words came out, I was apparently, 'afraid'. Afraid? Naturally, I had 60 minutes to ponder this slip, because why would I ever let my mind go on the table, no...I debated what this meant, until I decided I really needed to shut off.

Afraid. Us people pleasers are always afraid. That we won't make every person around us happy, that we won't rise to the occasion, that we won't be seen for the greatness that we are, unless we are working real hard, and working straight into the ground. Even on days, where I'd have a few hours to myself, I would end up answering emails, or find some way to show up for someone else, but not myself.

What I've discovered after having a few days to let this simmer, is this doesn't even have to do with filling your cup anymore, this has more to do with an ability to receive, and receive gracefully. This can extend from anything to thanking the person who gives you a compliment you don't think you deserve, to the positive attention being on you for once, and you being ok with it, to losing the guilt for a family member in their constant rotation of habitual challenge, to giving yourself more time to just enjoy the greatness you are. No lists, no tasks, no expectations, just to sit, and to read your Travel and Leisure magazine (that's what I'd do and DID do).

Yet, all of this cannot, and will not happen, unless you begin to respect yourself a little more. Reminding yourself that the greatness of your life will not be measured by your job, by the way your perform, how you do above and beyond for others, yet HOW you lived your life. How you accomplished all these things. Was it with a smile and a re-fueled existence, or what it in spite, on 4 hours of sleep, not going to Yoga for a month, because you just had to 'get it done'.

What I committed to myself last Friday, was that it is OK to take more, just a little more. That it's not selfish, but it is looking out for me, as that is the only person I can be accountable for. To write my dreams down, to make them come true, to surround myself with people who understand when I need to be given a little more, and to ensure I plan monthly massages, regardless of how short I am on time, or who needs me where.

What are you willing to commit to, as large, or as small, as you need it to be. How are you going to pull off one of the most challenging balancing act for those of us who are busy fixing everyone but ourselves? I challenge you to just start with one little act, one small thing, perhaps it's a walk mid-day, possibly signing off early and spending time with your family, sleeping in late, scheduling a coffee date, or allowing the love you give, to be as big as the love you're willing to receive.

There truly is no day, like today, to start. Today, begins with you.

Good-night Yogis.

(note about the above picture: this is my mom's dog Charlie, who just got to go to the beach for the first time last week. The beach is one of my places, where I can take care of me, and enjoy the song of my soul. Plus, dogs are always willing to receive love, and give it back, just the same. Remember: be like a dog)