Do you get lost every now and then?

Well, this is embarrassing. I normally encourage others to learn into their discomfort, yet like the sick person next to you on the bus, I've been leaning away from any and everything that makes me sit down and write my thoughts, and really sit with them. There has always been something more pressing, I've been 'too tired', or just didn't think it was necessary. So funny how we talk ourselves out of the things we need most. And now....we're here.

In the past 7 months, I've had a spiritual awakening, learned how to play the Harmonium, led a few Teacher Trainings, launched a Mala biz, exhausted myself, loved my practice, hated my practice, experienced a new era of hate, experienced a new era of LOVE, been Spiritually stuck, said goodbye to my amazing community, left Husband and Cat (temporarily), and the biggest bang of them all, moved my ass to New York City.

Like any new kid on the block, you wander around for a while. See where you can dip your toes in, explore the neighborhoods, eat new food, and try to figure out where your puzzle pieces fit. This made me sad for a while. I battled a lot of internal dialogue; 'was this really what I wanted?', 'I could always go back to where it's cozy', 'what if I fail?', 'will I fit in?'. All my insecurities of Junior High, hell, even High School, came back and hit me flat in the face.

And I was reminded, one day, when the sun was hitting the Triboro Bridge, just right, the infamous quote by J.R.R Tolkien, 'Not all those who wander are lost'. Feeling like an outsider for the majority of my life, this is one quote that has always filled me up with home, and a sense of belonging. I was reminded, yes, it's ok to wander. Get lost, take the long way home, get your footing, you may be meandering, but you'll always find your way back, what matters is how you experience it all. It may take some time, so enjoy navigating the turns, soak in the change of seasons, and the shops (hey, we're in NYC!), day by day, it'll all fall into place.

Here's to new adventures, being scared shitless, and doing it ANYWAY!