You can't pour from an empty cup.

photo: @leoshlo

model: ME!

 SUNDAY NIGHT:
If you've emailed me within the last 24 hours, I wouldn't know, and I am not sorry for that.

I try to stay ahead of the game, to predict every movement, before it happens. To be the early bird, long before the worm has even shown up. For me, checking my email, staying "on top of it", and being available at all hours, has been a way of my life for the past 10 years. It has gotten me promotions, recognition, and awards. It has also prized me with fatigue, burn-out, and severe anxiety. Stuck in the perceptual circle of anticipating the next sub-optimal feedback correspondence, trying to problem solve from my couch, filtering through my junk mail, completing assignments from the previous week, or just catching up; a fog has taken over my mind, full of disordered lists and stories.

And I think it's safe to say, that I am not alone.

I blog on work-life balance a lot, coach instructors on it, lecture my sister insistently, speak about it constantly in Yoga class, and yet, regardless of how top of mind it is, it doesn't seem to be getting better for the majority of us. It's our never-ending quest, our mythological unicorn equilibrium.

 As working Americans (especially Women), we are finding our lives full of an innumerable amount of expectations, not only by our employers, family, and friends, but also, the dreaded expectations of our own mind and desires. We tend to work 40+ hours a week and by the time we get home, it takes the final drips of energy within us to connect with those we love. For those of us who love our jobs, it makes it even more impossible, because at times, we don't see it as 'work', and 40+ hours doesn't seem like that big of a deal, when you really enjoy what you're doing, until it is.

When there are so many people to please, so many accomplishments on our lists, and too many things to do, when is enough, enough? When do we say I'm done with overextending myself, I choose me?

No, really, I'm asking for a friend ;)

The more you explore balance and the deeper you get, the more you realize the piece that no one really wants to talk about, which is that balance is impermanent, there is no such thing as 'perfect balance'; regardless of what all the magazines and wellness blogs want you to believe. We are in a constant state of flux, an ebb and flow. The more we give, the more we need to take. The more we push, the more we need to pull. So forth and so forth. Much like surfing, you think you've figured it out, and by the time you've caught your balance, if you're not paying particular attention, the board has smacked you flat in the face, and you're left coughing up retched sea water.

 There comes a point, where we literally have no more to give, because our cup becomes so completely empty. The goal of balance is being able to take our cups and every time we give a little, we take that same amount, if not more back.

I'm obviously not going to quit my job and move to Mexico, although living on the beach, and eating unlimited guac does sound delightful. I really enjoy the people I surround myself with, and the change I help to facilitate, not only in other people, but within myself too. So, since I must stay in the real world, and fight the good fight, I am attempting to compromise by taking back just a little bit, every time I give, day, by day. So, if it's Sunday, and you're looking to connect with me, I urge you to pick up the phone and give me a call, or send me a text, as I'm busy filling up my cup with just a little more water...or kambucha.

MONDAY MORNING:
It has now been 32 hours since I last checked my e-mail and you know what happened? (other than me getting a full night sleep) Not much of anything, especially nothing that couldn't be addressed on a Monday. [insert deep exhale].

What can we learn from this?

If something is burning down, or completely emergent, the smart ones will call you. Keep more of the smart ones around. Less of the others. And try, just one day a week, to remove yourself from the static, and the noise, of the things that deplete your cup, and surround yourself in goodness, whatever that means to you.